Issue 87- "Comeback Fever?"

Words, Pics/Inks: Heath P. Lail

Click-clack. Stomp stomp. Flick!

Hello. I just opened the doors and cut the lights back on...perhaps for just one more time. I've missed you all. I have kept myself busy since my last post, but I returned for a purpose, so lemme get down to business.

I am going to pursue my dream. The dream that I have held since I was nine. The dream that I could love more than Psychology. I am going to pursue being a comic book writer, and I'm going to put my heart and soul into it. I have been speaking to Steve Bissette, former artist on Swamp Thing, for the last few months, and he has supported me in my endeavor. He told me to write, write, write....and I shall. There is a small comic company in Memphis that I am going to petition for a job as writer. If I get paid(if I get hired), good. If not, still good, because my name will get out among the crowd and maybe someone will notice me. I am going to Arkansas in November to meet Mr. Bissette if all goes well with my school schedule because he has an art exhibit opening at Henderson State University. I hope to learn from him, and perhaps make a few solid artist connections while there...I am praying that this will succeed because once I get back from Ark., I'm gonna throw a huge amount of effort behind breaking in to the industry. Wish me luck.

Stomp Stomp. Over here in the dark corner is my message board. Nothing here except Sam's message of goodbye. This is why I returned. To post my message to her, something a wise man told me once.

All I can say to you is this, Samantha..."I'm here, I still love you, the door is forever open, I am happy to talk to you if you ever decide to talk to me."

As that wise man then said, "The ball is now in her court."

I apologize for upsetting you with the book Samantha, I just wanted to give it to you as a sign of an amicable split. I did not want you to think there was bad blood on my end.

I say again..."I'm here, I still love you, the door is forever open, I am happy to talk to you if you ever decide to talk to me."

Stomp stomp. Click-clack. Flick!

 

Issue 86- "Game Over"

We have been called specks. Nothingness when compared to the raw size of the cosmos. We register as a mere blip on a scale of time that has existed for at least 4.6 billion years. Yet each of us is immeasurably special in his or her own way. We can speak, write, hold abstract thought, and communicate with a clarity unseen in other regions of space. We can love, hate, or be indifferent. Laugh, cry, or kill each other in the blink of an eye. Yet what things are most important to us? Money, property, fame. We all known in our hearts that these things die with us, but we forget about the more important things in life in order to focus on these items, because they are very important parts of who you are here on Earth. We forget about how special it is to be able to love another person. We forget that the person in the car ahead who cut us off may be in a hurry to take their Mom or Dad to the hospital. We forget to thank the Creator of this wonderful planet for all he has given us with every breath we take. We are all guilty of this at one time or another. We must not forget who we came from, who created us because if we do, then we are no better off than dead. Y’know, I was told the other night that it upset me not to know everything about everything. They were correct as much as I hate to agree….but it is not fame or wealth I chase. I chase knowledge to help others in need. I chase knowledge that I might become a better person, both in my heart and in my deeds. I do not chase knowledge to throw it up in others faces that I know more than they might, nor do I do it to become wealthy. I just see the way people hurt differently than most do…I can read people more easily than some. That is my gift, and my curse. As we look back upon the events that unfolded three years ago, I can not help but think that we have moved backwards after “moving on” from the events of 9/11. For a very short while, we were truly a nation united, totally and wholly. Now cracks have begun to appear in the foundation, and people need to remember truly how precious life is to each and every person. Think of your life without these things, and weigh each of their importance in everyday life….

A cappuccino: it is delicious, gives you energy-without it, what are you missing? Perkiness

A loving family: they care about your safety every day- without? You feel alone and not very confidant

Money: it buys items, gives you an excuse to hang out- without? No gadgets, no “friends”

A true friend: lends you a shoulder to cry on in times of need- without? You ARE alone, and have no one to intimately share your problems with other than your family, if you are so blessed

Knowledge: helpful at winning Jeopardy!- without: you are intellectually slow or considered retarded

Wisdom and Love: helps you make the right decisions in order to live a life closer to God, and a simply more fulfilling life- without: even with lots of knowledge, without wisdom and love to guide that knowledge you will simply stumble through life, getting tripped up by the same problems every time you hit a good stride

Does this list make sense? It does to me. Look inside yourself tonight and decide what is most important to you. Is there someone who has wronged you and you still hold the grudge against them? Is there an old friend who has turned away because life is simply too “complicated” to deal with you? TALK to people you see…don’t just stumble around life having meaningless arguments and pointless conversations. Re-spark old flames, live life to the fullest, be happy. That is why we are here…we are not here to rack up possessions and fame…we are here to spread Jesus’ love, and to minister to each other, every day. Please pray for our nation, your friends, your enemies, and your world, that you do not lose sight of the most important things in life. This is Heath Lail, signing off from the Café.

Goodnight.

Issue 85- "Finality"

Words, Pics, Inks: Heath Parker Lail

It is with great shame, pain, and dishonor that I once again leave this small cafe in the hands of others. I feel about two inches tall right now, because I have hurt my dearest friend in the worst way. Samantha House no longer  wants to be my friend, nor am I anything at all to her. She has shut me out of her life. This time I believe it is permanent. She told me last night that she would block my e-mails, IMs, and delete my number from her cell phone, as well as restrict me from reading her blog Journal anymore. That she has already done...I am not sure how much else of those things are done, but I just wish I could sit down and talk to her face to face about the problems that we had. Instead, she chose to leave me to fend for myself here...leaving me without a confidant that I really enjoyed having for many years. Samantha and I have been through a great deal together over the some-odd 5 years that we have known each other, and I was hoping that our friendship would never end, although our actual relationship ended long ago. Losing her was a blow to my morale, and my drive that pushes me to do better, because she acted as though those times when I tried to help her, I had instead tried to boss her. She didn't feel that way about our hours-long phone conversations when we were having them. She was very appreciative of my help then, but something has changed within her. I don't think she wanted to be my friend anymore, because she pushed me to try and answer questions that I did not have an answer for, then said that I got angry and avoided the line of questioning, saying that I had a dark side. That is true, we all have a dark side, but my responses were simply because when Shauna and I went to Wal-Mart last night, she looked at Grandparents Day cards, and that made me think about my Papaw, whom I still miss dearly. Samantha dredged that up in her questioning, making me cry my eyes out because I was exhausted from being up since 5:30 Friday morning, and here it was, like 12:30 Saturday morning. I was in a lot of pain, but I knew that she did not want to be my friend anymore when, instead of comforting me, she instead turned cold and simply said that I was preaching to the choir, she had the same pain. I leave for work now, but I shall expand upon this blog later tonight or perhaps tomorrow.

I return, to finish my comments here. Samantha, you are a good person as well, and I wish you the best in life, but I simply wish you wouldn't have left me with so many unanswered questions. Why did you leave me here in the manner you did? Was I not always there in your time of need, ever since I realized that you were too good of a friend to throw away, regardless of the consequences from Shauna or anyone, for that matter? You have changed as well as I...you used to listen to counsel and advice but now you stubbornly plod ahead, living by your own philosophies about how life is. It hurt me when you told me your secret...it made me feel inferior as a man. I felt like, "I was turned down for...that?" I sought to be nothing but a gentleman to you, and you returned the favor by hurting me like that. I was still your friend, that much is true, but I was really bewildered by why you would take such a drastic action. Gotta go..more later

Issue 84- " Ups and Downs"

Words, Pics, Inks: Heath Parker Lail

Y'know, Sam's Journal really hit me tonight. I have possessed many items over the years, but only one thing came to mind when she talked about a person having a favorite object...the pillowcase my mother sewed me when I was a child. Brandon and I each had one, exactly the same. The only difference is now, he still has his, while mine has gone the way of the dodo. It was a silver sheen satin pillowcase, and I loved that stupid thing....I loved it so much that my folks had to destroy it one night while I was away at church so that I would not stop them. Over the years, I had used my pillow everywhere, much like Dustin with his pillow and Sam with her blanket. I don't think about it as much anymore, but I guess I was around 12 or 13 when it was destroyed. I used it every night, and it was now as old as I. It had small Coke stains on it, dusty as anything, and a hole was beginning to take parts of it away into nothingness. It was like the hole in the ozone layer...it just kept growing until...one night I was at church, and I returned to see a new pillowcase on my pillow. I looked everywhere for it and asked Mom and Dad. They finally told me that it died in the washing machine. They killed it intentionally of course, but they used the excuse that they were worried that I would roll my face into it one night and suffocate. I told them that was a chance I was willing to take, and I cried myself to sleep for a week after that episode. There ya go guys...I do have something in common with everyone else I guess. Later