Issue 141- "Running on empty"

Written, pencilled, inked by: Heath Parker Lail

Hullo, all. I write tonight as a form of catharsis...to ease my pain of what's going on in my life right now. My brother has been stricken with a kidney stone, one bad enough to garner a trip to the hospital. My uncle has been fighting a (seemingly) losing battle with pneumonia for almost three weeks now. I have multiple school projects hanging over my head, and I feel the pressure getting to me. This is a trial for me, I know...but it still hurts, and it doesn't help to know why I feel the way I do. It doesn't comfort me.

The part that is missing in my life is fun. I like to have fun, but time has not allowed me that in a long time. I tried to catch a movie with Sam the other night but she was too busy and tired, and there was no one else to call. I enjoyed it but not as much as I would have with someone else.  Have you ever felt like you are just running around in circles for no reason? I feel like that tonight...I wonder where I am supposed to go, what I'm supposed to do. Finishing my education is a high proirity right now, but the stress from trying to do all this stuff that's been thrown at me is starting to make me buckle. I miss having a significant other but all the girls I might be interested in are either not interested, wish me dead, or I make a fool outta myself and thus these girls move into category 1 or 2. I know that life is worth living, but I'm wondering what I'm living FOR. What am I supposed to do? Become a great psychologist and help bunches of people? TRY and fail at this, becoming a bum and proving all my nay-sayers true? Or am I just broken and in need of fixing myself before I can help others?

I do not know, my friends...but know this...I will not yield to stress or any obstacles. I WILL overcome them. I...just don't know how right now. Best to everyone out there right now, miss you all and love you all. Hopefully your lives are better than mine right now.

H

Issue 140- "Just popping in"

Written pencilled, inked by: Heath P Lail

Just poppin in to say hi. Nothing heard from the Shauna camp. Hopefully the camp has moved a far way away to bother me no more, and wallow in her stupidity.

I'm bushed from working hard this week, and it is just Tuesday. Pulling articles is not my idea of fun, but it must be done to appease the Higher Lords of Psychology, or whoever the Hell it is that fated I needed 4 classes of Spanish for my B.A. degree. I'll trudge through though...I always do....the way I was raised:)

Y'know I'm enjoying my bachelorhood quite a bit. I still hate being alone so much, but I can do things I couldn't do if I was still attached to someone, like drive to the city park between classes and read, or take a small nature walk. I enjoy this freedom...it is refreshing after being brainwashed for the last 4 years. I have to wonder though...are women really shallow? Like, as shallow as men sometimes? Just wondering because sometimes I feel as though there are people out there who would date me if a few things they don't like about me were changed. I know I don't have a lot of money but I have learned that money is not everything. A relationship built on money...well, we all saw what happened to me with Shauna. Money was a serious factor to her, and it led to her letting me go, (admittedly conceitedly thinking) the stupidest thing she has ever done. I think women ought to consider more than looks or money when finding their special someone...stuff like intellect (never know when it might save your ass), sense of humor (HIGHLY underrated by modern women) and the fact that this guy, whom you are criticizing, loves you for who you are, faults and all. Ok, so you aren't Claudia Schiffer...big deal to us. If we truly love you, be sure that we mean it when we say "I love YOU, fillinblank". Not saying it to you but thinking of someone else. Guess I'm just tired of all these little preppy chicks on campus looking at me like I'm not worthy to be on the same campus as them...well guess what I don't make 4.0s like you but that's because I don't want to stick out like a sore thumb or a nerd. I could beat the pants off most of the people down there GPA-wise if I wanted but I choose to remain just another face. That is my right, and no one can fault me for it. Ok, that's my little rant...stop being so judgemental about unimportant stuff about guys and just love us for who we are. We honestly don't wanna change anything about you, why change us?

Best,

Heath