Issue 162- "A Return to Greatness Part Two: An Interlude"

Everything by: Heath Parker Lail

Hi folks, sorry I haven't been around lately but life has called, and I've done my best to answer. Hopefully I'll finish my thoughts on Plato's Symposium another night. It gave me focus though, these few days off. I will now attempt to use them to the best of my ability.

You know, I think music is a window into our soul. It can bring out great emotion through the movement of but a few strings upon a guitar, a beat upon a drum, a clarinet's tones or any other number of exotic and exciting instruments. I myself prefer a slow song sang with authority, with an acoustic guitar as the only accompanying instrument. There is something simplistically powerful in an acoustic guitar--I can't put my finger on it, but how can such a non-complex instrument provide one with such a sense of awe? I just don't understand. Then again, I do not choose to...if I were able to play one instrument, I would choose an acoustic guitar; not for its simplicity, no...instead, I would choose it because of the raw power it evokes. Unfortunately, my "physical difficulty" with my left hand caused by a stroke when I was four days old denies me this simple pleasure.

Still, I am able to enjoy the talents of others, and am therefore more humble overall. For without humility, not one of us would want to live--the unchecked vanity in the world would render everyday living impossible within a matter of hours. Therefore, to those of you who have often wondered why it is that I enjoy Dave Matthews Band as I do, this was the answer...it feeds not only my mind, but my very soul. It fills the sense of loneliness that invades my life every so often, from a lack of partner. For me, there is no more enjoyable thing to do on starry nights than listen to DMB (or another acoustic artist), stare up at the sky, and realize that life is a grand thing, and that my loneliness will end one day; soon, I am sure of it.

Poetry fills my heart, then. If music soothes my soul, then it is left to poetry to sustain my heart. Reading poetry is not always as popular to me as creating my own poems...yes, I feel as though poetry is the act of creation. When one is crafting a poem, the world becomes still--it requires focus, and nearly 100 percent of one's concentration for a successful session. Life becomes nothing more than a chance to tell the story this poem wishes to expose, whether it be sorrow over lost love, a song of heroes, or fantasies of the heart's desire. Poetry spills from the heart, pouring one's total emotions onto the page as each word is exhumed from his/her very being; it is taxing, true...but oh so rewarding when the process is complete. If you wish to read one of my rawest emotional poems, go to www.poetry.com and look up the title "Intrigue" under my name. Perhaps it shall inspire you to write something of your own.

Finally, we come to the mind. What feeds my mind, you ask? Literature, I shall reply. Not just ANY Literature though...Unconventional Literature. Literature that others dismiss as folly, or simply fantasy. One such medium is comic books. "Comic books!?" one might scoff, but as I live and breathe, this is perhaps our most important medium in literature, and it is slowly dying. though I do enjoy the often pointless fisticuffs involved in superhero titles such as the Amazing Spider-Man, when I speak of Comic Literature, I mean works such as Sandman by Neil Gaiman & et al., Swamp Thing by Moore/Bissette/Totleben/Veitch/Alcala, Promethea by Alan Moore and J.H. Williams III, Silver Surfer by Stan Lee and John Buscema and more.

Sandman contains some of the most dynamic and ambitious storylines I've seen in a long time, comics or otherwise. Swamp Thing seeks to help promote intellectual thought, all the while robed in a simple "muckman monster" comic clothing. Promethea expands the medium on so many phases it is almost impossible to define the series in mere words...raw emotion fills this need best, and it is best for it to be a particular reader's emotion, rather than one explaining emotion to another as we all have differences in emotion. Silver Surfer gives comics one of its greatest intellectual thinkers, the spacefaring Norrin Radd, and his forever-lost love, Shalla Bal. Perhaps the greatest morally-naive character in the history of literature itself, yet one with the biggest heart. My point is this...intelligent, well-written literature in any medium is best described as a mind-expansion experience sans the drug induced haze. It can broaden thought processes on particular subjects, you can travel to far-away galaxies on exploration of moral right and wrong on planetary scales, and introduce you to new sides of problems you've studied your entire life. Ignorance is bliss, true...but ignorance by choice is inexcusable, andwrong. Along with following God, another important task we are placed with is helping our brothers and sisters on this small blue sphere, and information on multiple topics is always a helpful thing.

Hopefully you've enjoyed this little rant...lemme know. G'night.

Love to all,

Heath

Issue 161- "A Return to Greatness, Part 1: Thoughts on the Symposium by Plato"

Heath P. Lail, writer/artist, proudly presents....

"A Return to Greatness (or the Storyarc Who Simply Would Not Wait), Part the First"

The Symposium tells of a meeting of great minds, who gather at the home of Agathon to discuss philosophical matters that interest them. Eryximachus is first to speak, noting that while he once found a well-written poem noting the greatness and multiple utilities of salt, he has found none that adequately discuss the grandeur of Love, supposed by ancients to be the oldest of the gods to appear.

Socrates answered thusly: he would not dispute Ery's comment, and he doubted that any others in attendance would either. Yet he wished to hold a round-table of sorts to listen to others opinions and speeches on the matter before himself commenting on the subject.

Phaedrus was to speak first. He began by noting Love's strengths and  importance, as evidenced by his status as first-born. He continues on, saying that love is the greatest thing that can happen to a young man and that love, both for others and self, should be the greatest of man's principles by which he lives and dies. For what man would not defend one he loves? Would not the most cowardly man become like a lion if his beloved was threatened? Love makes a man wish to lay his life down for those he loves, though others of closer blood might be in the same position, yet they choose not to act. Though Love itself is to be cherished, it is infinitely more valued to know that one is loved, rather than simply to know of Love's existence and be denied it. This was the speech of Phaedrus. 

This seems a wonderful speech, one that makes many valid points...the main thing I drew from this was that without Love, many things would be left unfinished--the drive to complete difficult tasks would be non-existent and people would simply give into despair. Anyone who has ever felt the love of another also must agree that the feeling of being loved by someone special to you is a feeling that is nigh indescribable. You can't tell others of this feeling...it is something that each of us must experience individually, and everyone describes it quite differently. For example, my explanation of this pure love would be like an early morning sunrise viewed from atop a hill of tall green grass, with the sleepy sun burning off the morning mist. Or perhaps it would be as holding the one you love on that same hill at night, searching the millions of stars and constellations for two that you might pluck from the sky and hold forever in your hearts. Or finally, it could be the ability to travel in that silent vacuum of space without any ship or form of propulsion--just the silence, the hugeness of the Void, and the feeling of floating on nothingness, looking at the bring twinkling dots that are all around. See, when even one human may have more than one view of how Love is described how many infinite numbers of descriptions must there be extant in the universe? Moving on...Pausanias continues thus--

He declares that there is more than one Love, and that Phaedrus should have more closely examined this duality of Love. One Love is Heavenly, and this comes from Aphrodite. The other Love is common, and is the daughter of Zeus and Dione. He continues on to say that actions in and of themselves are neither evil nor good. They must be put into context before they may be properly examined, and so must Love. Surely Love that is not noble and pure must not be admired? Only Love that comes from noble thoughts and actions must be praised by mortals...foolish beings who act with only a means to an end are not viewing Love in the correct context, for Love must be noble. It is essential to its being. This is like the Love of young boys--it is wildly powerful yet inexplicably dangerous in the end. The future of this Love is uncertain...it may be pure and noble or evil and corrupt. He continues to say that in other countries, some rulers see fit to discourage friendships or the bonding of two people through Love...for a people without bonds are much easier to rule than those whom feel a sense of camaraderie. I really like what he says here..."and this is the reason why, in the first place, a hasty attachment is held to be dishonorable, because time is the true test of this as of most other things; and secondly there is dishonor in being overcome by the love of money, wealth, or political power, whether a man is frightened into surrender by the loss of them, or, having experienced the benefits of money and political corruption, is unable to rise above their seductions."

I think this is a good place to stop...I will pick up here again hopefully tomorrow. Whew...no more four-post days though:) G'night.

H  

 

 

Issue 160- " Return to Greatness: Prelude"

Written, pencilled, inked by: Heath Parker Lail

Hey guys, my mind is just working away today so I thought I would drop one more issue off before turning in tonight. That will get me caught up from the two days I missed, plus one issue for today. "Return to Greatness" will be just that...a story that will return this title to its former glory, one not seen in a loooong time. It will be musings on a little bit of everything, but I will not be writing in quite the same style as Philosophy of Life; thus I was reluctant to name it POL 3. I do not know when the first issue will appear...I may wait until my folks go out of town Saturday, and begin Saturday night. I am going to take some prep time for this, as I want it to be entertaining to readers and fun to write. Therefore, it may not start until next week sometime. Hell, I might wake up during the night and have inspiration hit me, and start at 2:43 AM on 5/19/06....I just dunno.

Thanks for reading this, and your continued postings. I am going now, but keep on the lookout for "Return to Greatness, Part 1" sometime in the near future. Oh, look at the numbers...we're closing in on another anniversary issue...number 175. Hopefully something big will happen between now and then, and it will truly be a joyous occasion for all involved. If not, I'll just lie and make up something awesome for issue 200.  Take care

H

Issue 159- " Thoughts and Hopes"

Everything by: Heath

Hey folks, just thought I'd let you know I've got an interview coming up Monday...hopefully this will free me from TN CARD/FAN HQ. You know, I've had a helluva long run at my jobs. I worked at SF for 4 years, TN CARD for a little over 3 now, and if I get this job I'm working towards, I have it planned that I only need to work there for 2 years in order to save up enough for grad school. In almost ten years, that will be only 3 jobs. Funny ain't it? Most people hold at least 5-6 jobs in that time, yet I will barely hold 3. The only other person I know who seems to hold onto jobs as long as me is Sam. I think she worked at Sears for about three years, and I think she's been at Wal-Mart about three.

Anywho, pray for me that this interview goes well, so that I may move onwards and upwards to better jobs. More later...

H

 

Issue 158- "A Personal Message"

Written, pencilled, inked by: Heath P. Lail

I humbly apologize for my weakness in the face of mine ex. It is not very manly, this I understand; it does not make one feel manly to back down from one such as she time and again.

Thus, after considerable thought on the subject I reasoned that I am not afraid of her; nay, I am in actuality afraid of our memories, our times together. Those times were great to me, and it angers me still at how she treated me those last few months.

Still, it is time that my cowardice be buried, lest it cause you to look unfavorably upon me, as a friend, and also as a man. I apologize once again for my emotional shortcomings, and promise that I shall meet this destiny head-on, without fear, cowardice or malice...and I SHALL CONQUER IT ONCE AND FOR ALL. For life is not worth living if you must be afraid of living freely, unencumbered by fear and doubt at each new turn. May you rest well today, and know that my thoughts shall be with you, always dear friend.

Best,

H

Issue 157- "Bountiful blessing of books, Part 2"

Everything by: HPLL

I'm gonna keep things short tonight--I just wanna recommend a book I bought today, one which I read a few months back. It is The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova. It is a telling of one family's curse of continued dealings with Dracula, Lord of Vampires throughout multiple decades. It is written in a way that makes the action seem ultra-realistic, as though these supernatural events are occuring right in your own room, rather than in a world of fiction. If I had unlimited resources of wealth at my command, I would have immediately traveled to all the places talked about in the book upon finishing it months ago. It would have made for a rather intriguing Indiana Jones-style adventure, traveling to exotic locales in search of hidden treasures. It was truly a great winter read, one which makes you want to curl up under the blankets before proceeding.  In closing, I HIGHLY recommend it for anyone who wants to read something out of the ordinary. G'night, talk to you tomorrow night.

H

Issue 156- " A bountiful blessing of books"

Written, pencilled, inked by : Heath P. Lail

I'm settling back into this rather nicely...I might make it to 200 after all, hmm? Perhaps I should graduate more often; it has been a rather prosperous venture, as I have received a more-than-fair amount of gifts, both monetary and otherwise.

I received about 300 bucks or so from various benfactors, which has gone to gas, entertainment and multiple trade paperbacks of the 90s Neil Gaiman Sandman comic series. I received the last of my gifts earlier this evening, as my brother presented me with the first 6 volumes of Shelby Foote's well-acclaimed Civil War series, aptly titled The Civil War Vols. 1-9. My mother and father than suprised me with the remaining three volumes. All total, it clocks in at somewhere around 4,000 pages of Civil War history....I think I'll start Volume 1 tonight before bed. Afterwards, my friend Jonathan Nichols visited, presenting me with a new Transformers: Alternator, Prowl, who is modeled on the Acura RSX. It is painted in the style of a modern police car, and is amazingly detailed inside and out. Brian Mitchell's fiance' Crystal called to apologize for missing my graduation yesterday but explained that she worked until 2, so I told her it was no big deal. She then proved it true that I am a prophet of sorts...

Shauna and her husband are living in Red Banks, as he seemingly could not keep a job up north. See, I told everyone that she would be back by the end of May, and it is both humorous and odd that she would move back the night of my graduation. Oh well, she has made her bed...let her lie in it, quite literally.

On other notes, I just finished a great novel by Dean Koontz, entitled Forever Odd. It tells a second tale of Odd(his true first name)Thomas, a character with somewhat unusual powers; for one, Elvis Presley's ghost visits him often, among others. I highly recommend FO,  as well as the original title, Odd Thomas. They are off-beat detective stories that are rather humorous, more often than not. Odd sort of bumbles through his adventures, as would most normal folk.

Well, I think that is enough for tonight...I miss you all, love you and hope to see everyone soon. G'night.

H

Issue 155- " ...and after all, he collapses into a deep sleep;"

Written, pencilled, inked by: Heath Parker Lail

"one which is richly deserved." Hells yeah...

I graduated from Ole Miss. I'm an actual psychologist-in-training.

'Nuff said.

H

 

 

Issue 154- " Suprise, suprise!"

Everything by: Heath Parker Lail

Hullo again, everyone. It is good to be here again...in fact, it is good to be whole again, with no stress pushing down upon me. It feels good to not be "forced" to be anywhere at any given time...I haven't been this free since I graduated high school in 2000, and even then I was working a full schedule at Star Foods that summer, and started college in the fall so I guess I wasn't really free at all, huh? :) Thing is, I'm tired. Really tired...mentally, physically and spiritually, it took my all this semester to finish. If I had failed, I really don't think I could have gone on, knowing that I would have to face another semester of books, exams and long drives. There comes a time in all things we do, whether it be work or play, when we are simply tapped out and are running on fumes. I have been there for at least 6 months, if not longer. Now perhaps I may receive a full night's rest, one complete with rest, rather than simply lying in bed going over my faults as a friend and lover to those who count upon me daily rather than sleeping.

In fact, I think I will go ahead and turn in now, so that I am well-rested in the AM for my trip to Oxford, to drop off a library book and pick up my cap/gown. Thank you once again for all those who have stood behind me all these years, pushing me onward. Thank you Samantha for your years of friendship and love--would I could go back and love you as I might have, but alas simply 'twas not to be. I am happy for you though, as you have found one who showed you that love first, without multiple foolish mistakes. Should you not be able to attend the ceremony, I understand. You have other important obligations in your life currently, and I would not take you away from them though your presence will be sorely missed. Shauna, thank you for righting me on my path, though it was but only a short time of our entire time together. I did love you, and I wish you nothing but happiness though you tore my heart in half. May you find whatever it is you seek, child...and may God follow you in that search for without Him, none may survive one hour, much less a day or week. Brooke...there are no words for what you have done in my life. You have been an invaluable ally through multiple rough seas, and I trust your counsel to be sage and wise. May you find God one day, for once you do, your light will shine as a beacon in the darkest of nights. How I know this, you ask? Because you follow your heart and its desires 100 percent, and if you were to find God, you would follow Him 100 percent.  To all the others who have stood with me these years...a heartfelt thank you. God Bless and G'night.

H

Issue 153- "To All things must come...an End"

Written, pencilled, inked, lettered and colored by: Heath Parker Lail

Hey folks. If this was a monthly comic, it would have been cancelled long ago, with such big gaps between issues. But fret not, this is a true self-published venture, and though all things must come to an end, the end of this Journal is not nigh. I still plan to make it to issue 200, if not further, before ending this version of the Cafe in order to reboot. 47 issues an counting...

Anyway, the ending that is coming is my college career, version 1.0. My undergraduate studies in Psychology have been profound, confusing, and (sometimes modernly) wrong, but also intriguing, fascinating and rather informative. My studies in Political Science were mostly by default; I simply chose Poli Sci in order to declare SOME Minor course of study (my preferred course to Minor in would have been Philosophy, but alas I did not discover the true depths of the subject until far too late). Though many will call me crazy, I must say that I am saddened by the fact that Shauna will not be here to see this...my ultimate triumph over her attempts to water down my intellectual search for meaning and ultimately, the Secrets of the Universe. No, dear friends, lovers and colleagues, I do not want her back as my love, but I do wish she could see her own failure in utmost clarity. Enough of that, I refuse to be petty and hurtful--that whole thing was painful enough the first time around, without dredging up bad nightmares, which is what the whole four-year episode now amounts to in the grand scheme of my life.

Now I go in search of a job in which I can practice my people skills, and in search of a new love in my life. There are many girls whom I would wish to date, though a number of  them be currently unavailable...ah, such is life. No use crying over that which can never be yours. Currently I am crying tears of joy for my friend Samantha, who is now engaged to the man she believes to be the right one for her. They do make a nice couple, folks...you just have to see them. My best thoughts, prayers and wishes go out to them both in this joyous time, and may they love one another for years, sharing multitudes of great times together.  Now, it's MY TIME (as HHH might say)...I will find one who loves me, of that I have no doubt--I mean, as attractive and intellgent as I am, there must be some rocket scientist chick that gets hot thinking about crunching numbers at psychological tables with me, right? lol All jesting aside, I am not concerned about getting older, I just think that all these other people jumped the gun too early--love is like a fine wine, and sometimes a person must age for a while until they are the correct mixture of flavor and richness. Therefore, I think it is important that love is not to be rushed; instead it should be savored every single inch, just like a fine wine is lauded by critics until the final drop is tasted. ahh......it feels good to stretch my brain in thought again...there was a time I thought I could not think things such as this anymore--my thoughts were a jumbled mess, always jumping from one topic to the next, not taking in the beauty of a momentary glance or the grandness of sweet, sweet solitude. Now I intend to savor every minute of my new-found freedom, utilizing it the the maximum.

May God Bless you all tonight...I miss you all, and hope to see you again tomorrow night, at this same place. G'night.

Heath